Since my last post about setting new standards in the dating world, I have learned a few things. (1) When you start to believe something, it can hold true, (2) ask and you shall receive, and (3) getting to know someone before you sleep with them is overrated.
Ok…that last one may be a little skewed, as I hear my saint of a mother in my head screaming “Elizabeth!“.
I first started talking to Roberto a few weeks ago after a late night out with some friends. We were talking online for a while with the typical initial questions before I realized that it said he lived in Florida. When he tells me he will be in Chicago in the near future I decide to invite him to my friend’s wedding….where I was a bridesmaid… Clearly I was feeling extra spontaneous. After a week of ignoring his texts I finally decided to text him back at a very convenient hour immediately after that wedding. To my surprise he showed up not more than 30 minutes later. The courage that cocktails tend to give you was in full affect so I didn’t mind that there was a stranger in my room. This was unlike anything I have ever done before but that’s what made it exciting. I still took some precautionary measures like telling someone who knew exactly what hotel room I was in that he was coming over and provided a picture. She even did her due diligence in the morning to make sure I was alive. After covering my bases of practicing safety first (ha!) I was free to enjoy my spontaneous adventure.
I was expecting to just have a casual night to omit the fact that my ex was the last person I had slept with nearly a year ago. That was the focus. No emotional investment, no analyzing what sort of future we could have together, just plain old meaningless sex. But something was special about him that didn’t seem like a dirty one night stand that I was sure to regret by morning. Instead, by morning we were feeling a real connection. I still just assumed it was a reaction from a false sense of love. After 12 hours of no sleep I said my goodbyes and expected to never see the sexy Colombian man again. He continue to contact me the next couple of days and insisted on seeing me one more time before he left Chicago.
I caved and made plans to spend the day with him when I knew there would be no one home for a while. That is all it took. We had this amazing day together. We didn’t do much of anything and yet we both walked away feeling like it was the best day. There was plenty of time in bed, of course, as I was still trying to stick to my plan of keeping this completely physical. But then we actually left the house and spent some real time together. I learned more about the real person. He went around my entire house looking at every picture and asking about the people in them as if he truly cared. He has only been in the US for less than 3 years so there is a bit of a language barrier. But I am not sure what I love more – his broken English in a sexy accent or when he speaks to me in Spanish. Either way it’s enough to make any girl swoon.
I saw him off to the airport that day and was surprisingly disappointed that our 3-day rendezvous was now over. It wasn’t long before I was receiving poetic text messages and phone calls telling me how much he misses me. I try to tell myself that it is a part of his culture to freely express emotions and feelings of love and does not have the same severity and intensity that it would coming from an American. But I have to admit I am loving every minute of it. The incredibly romantic conversations. The feeling of being loved. “Te extrano” and “Te quiero” are phrases used often. He claims he loves me. Yes – he’s crazy. No – I don’t say it back. Yes – I love hearing it.
While the chemistry between us is amazing, I refuse to believe that you could love someone so quickly. My heart literally hurts when he says something incredibly bold about love, but maybe it is the shock factor more than a real emotion. He planned to come back to Chicago for my birthday in January. I couldn’t wait that long so I planned a weekend to see him in December first. We both have these stupid grins on our faces when we talk. This is so intense and a bit much but I am a hopeless romantic and completely flawed so I am embracing it. I realize if he didn’t have an accent that drives me wild, or were a regular American guy saying these things to me in English I would be running for the hills. Maybe it’s because I do feel the same way about him no matter how hard I try to fight it. Or maybe it is because I know that realistically this cannot last. He lives in Florida where he has a daughter he adores. And although he has stated he wants to move to Chicago to be with me, I could never let him do that. I couldn’t handle the pressure, and I certainly couldn’t pull him away from his daughter. Long distance will never work for me either. It has barely been a week since I last saw him and it kills me every day to not have him here. He is an amazing man who makes me feel adored and wanted. He has that passion and fire that I keep talking about. He oddly makes me feel safe from afar.
My attempt at a meaningless one-night stand completely back-fired and blew up in my face. Figures. This entire year is a theme of unpredictable, over the top, surprising events. So I am going to enjoy my little Latin fantasy for as long as it lasts. It is likely not forever, but it is memorable.